Stop Waiting for Permission

Episode Summary:

Let's face it: you already know what you need to do. You listened to last week's episode about disappointing people. You nodded along. Maybe you even shared it. And then your mom called, your coworker asked, your partner assumed. And you said yes when you really wanted to say no.

You already know your body's been screaming NO for weeks. Here's the thing: you don't need better boundaries. You need to stop waiting for permission to use them. You're still asking "Am I allowed? Is it okay? Will people think I'm selfish?" And no one's coming to give you that permission. Not your therapist, not your best friend, not even your nervous system breaking down.

This episode exposes the pattern of knowing what you need to do but performing like you're going to change while wondering why January looks exactly like last January.

You're not alone. Your people are here. This is your reckoning. Yet.

IS THIS EPISODE FOR YOU?

Listen if you're:

✓ Still saying yes when your body is screaming no

✓ Waiting for someone to tell you it's okay to choose yourself

✓ Performing like you're going to set boundaries while doing the exact same thing

✓ Asking permission to use the boundaries you already know you need

✓ Wondering why nothing changes year after year

✓ Ready to stop waiting and start actually doing

This is for you if you're done asking for permission and ready to just take it.

WHAT GETS EXPOSED

The "waiting for permission" pattern keeping you stuck—you don't need better boundaries, you need to stop asking if you're allowed to use them

Why your nervous system breaking down still isn't enough—you keep overriding what your body knows because you're still seeking external validation

The uncomfortable truth about change—if the answer is "nothing," own it and stop performing like you're different

BURKE BOMBS

💣 "No one's coming to give you permission. Not your therapist, not your best friend, not me. Not even your nervous system breaking down is enough for you to give yourself permission."

💣 "You don't need better boundaries. You need to stop waiting for permission to use them."

💣 "Stop performing like you're going to change and then wondering why January looks exactly like last January."

QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Why do I keep saying yes when I want to say no?

You're waiting for permission. Your body knows what it wants—it's been screaming NO for weeks, months, maybe years. But you keep overriding it because some part of you is still asking "Am I allowed to do this? Is it okay?" You don't need better boundaries. You need to stop outsourcing the decision to use them. No one's coming to give you permission. You have to decide right now that you're done asking.

How do I actually start setting boundaries?

Stop asking what you SHOULD do and ask what you're ACTUALLY going to do. Not what sounds good while listening to a podcast. What are you going to do differently this week? If the answer is nothing, own it. Stop performing like you're going to change. The shift happens when you stop waiting for external permission and decide you're done asking.

WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE

The week-after check-in - It's been a week since the Thanksgiving episode and Michelle's guessing most of you already messed it up

The pattern exposed - You listened, you nodded, you shared it. Then your mom called. Your coworker asked. Your partner assumed. And you said yes. Again.

The real problem - You don't need better boundaries. You need to stop waiting for permission to use them. Your body's been screaming NO but you keep asking "Am I allowed?"

The hard truth - No one's coming to give you permission. Not your therapist, not your best friend, not even your nervous system breaking down.

The actual question - What are you ACTUALLY going to do differently this week? Not what should you do. What are you going to do?

The Permission Slip offer - It's not Michelle giving you permission. You already have it. It's four episodes of saying out loud what your nervous system doesn't believe yet. Seventeen bucks. But buying it doesn't fix anything. Using it does.

ABOUT MICHELLE BURKE

Michelle Burke is the bestselling author of Hot Mess Magic, keynote speaker, and host of Hot Mess Magic podcast.

She doesn't do curated advice or toxic positivity. She tells the truth that gut-punches you awake.

Hot Mess Magic was born from the fire—the breakdowns, the unraveling, the full-blown identity crises. The kind that crack you open and refuse to let you go back to who you were.

This isn't self-help. It's self-trust.

Connect with Michelle:

• 📧 Newsletter: https://michelleaburke.substack.com/
• 📱 Instagram: @michelleaburke
• 🌐 Instagram: @hotmessmagicmedia
• 📖 Book: Hot Mess Magic: Discover the Magic in Your Mess

Work with Michelle:

• 🎤 Speaking (keynotes and workshops on dropping the facade and owning your mess)

THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH NOBODY'S SAYING

You already know what you need to do. You're just waiting for someone to tell you it's okay to do it.

Your body has been screaming NO for weeks, months, maybe years. But you keep overriding it because you're still asking permission. "Am I allowed to disappoint people? Is it okay to choose myself? Will people think I'm selfish?" And here's what you're not going to like: no one's coming to validate that choice for you.

The shift happens when you stop asking and start deciding.

Not what you SHOULD do. Not what sounds good when you're listening to a podcast. What are you ACTUALLY going to do differently this week? Because if the answer is nothing, just own it. Stop performing like you're going to change while wondering why January looks exactly like last January.

And if you need someone to say the shit out loud that your nervous system doesn't believe yet, that's what The Permission Slip is for.

It's not me giving you permission—you already have it. It's four episodes activating what you already know. But buying it doesn't fix anything. Using it does. That's on you.

This is your permission slip to discover the magic in your mess.

RELATED EPISODES YOU'LL LOVE

You Don't Owe Them Thanksgiving 2.0: Permission to Disappoint People During the Holidays - The episode that started this conversation about choosing your nervous system over everyone else's comfort

RESOURCES MENTIONED

The Permission Slip - Private podcast subscription. Four episodes designed to activate what you already know but your nervous system doesn't believe yet. It's not me giving you permission—you already have it. This says the shit out loud so you can stop waiting and start doing. $17. [Link in show notes]

LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE

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If this episode cracked something open—if you're still waiting for permission to do what you already know you need to do—subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And if you're ready to stop waiting and start actually doing? Leave a review. Tell us what this exposed for you.

Your mess is your medicine. Your breakdown is your breakthrough.

Welcome to Hot Mess Magic.

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